July 5, 2016
Merlin & Phoebe
On July 5th, my two soul mates left this world together, as it’s all they knew.
I picked them up from K9 Crusaders in 2011 at ages 6 & 8, so had them for around 5 years. They slotted into my life like they had always been there. Wherever I went, I had my ‘spangles’. They were part of me. We had day trips out with them all the time, they came to the Isles of Scilly on the ferry, and to pretty much every beach in Cornwall. They truly were my kids.
As they got older, old age started to prevail. Merlin suffered a spinal embolism in 2013 which paralysed his left back leg. I spent weeks doing physiotherapy on him to enable him to walk to near-full function again. He continued to chase his ball and run around like a lunatic on walks for a good few more years! The drive and stubbornness that dog had, enabled him to fight through anything that happened to him, I loved that about him.
In 2015, Phoebe developed a chronic ear infection which led to them being cleaned twice daily and her putting up with the irritation. She was absolutely golden in the way she took this on. Merlin, like I said, was stubborn and a fighter. Phoebe, the same – yet there was something graceful about the way she went about it. Silent, taking it in her stride. Never letting anyone know she was in pain. I was determined not to let this ear infection be the end – which was often the prognosis with such a chronic infection.
One year on of battling with this, I found out she had cancer. It was aggressive – and they didn’t know how fast the tumour would grow. I willed her to live another year, but sores started developing that wouldn’t heal, and I knew she was in pain, despite her denial.
Around this time, Merlin had started to grow weaker with his spine degenerating from muscle wastage, and he needed help in going to the toilet. He never got up in the mornings any more. He was tired.
In the weeks leading up to the heartbreaking decision, I cried a lot. Because inside, I knew it was coming.
I decided, when Phoebes paws became sore, that this was it. Enough of suffering for the both of them. I couldn’t keep them alive for me. And they had to go together. Maybe Merlin knew that Phoebe was unwell and decided he wanted to leave too – who knows. But what I do know is that these two dogs were as one. There’s no chance they could live without each other.
So the day they left, I felt indescribable pain that they would never be with me again. I missed them intensely from the moment they look their last breaths together.
I took them to the pet crematorium afterwards, and put them in a basket in some blankets, facing eachother with a paw on eachother. Although my heart broke into a million pieces, I was happy that they were together. I had them cremated and back with me.
The life and love these dogs brought to me and my family was never ending. We had so many laughs, so many memories and so much love for these two souls. I will never, ever forget – or stop loving the two spangles that stole my heart.
